&#%<*!!!

My first emotion to unsuspected news is typically anger. It probably roots back from control issues, but nevertheless it's my first line of defense. And anger can turn on the sailor mouth switch. 

It's not pretty...

I have a delicate tender side but, JC also gave me this Rambo side. It's most exciting when He gives me the go ahead to go after something! Like a hunting dog waiting for the command to retrieve. My girlfriends laugh when they see Rambo surfacing. I have such an overwhelming sense to guard my people. 

That's what happened Friday in a waiting room at a hospital in Odessa. My dad went back for an angiogram after a suspicious physical on Tueaday. Best news would be all clear, worst news would be a stint.

Instead, what we heard, was news not even on our radar: double bypass. Tomorrow. The stint from his heart attack (you know the one he had on his 4 mile walk after taking a baby aspirin that morning)two years ago was 100% blocked. 

His wife cries. His mom cries. My brother shakes his head. My response? "shit!"

Oh so much the lady. 

(But if you are my friend, you actually really love this about me. Right? Right.)

Friday was an emotional day. Dad seemed totally normal, just in a hospital bed. Afterall it was bad enough they wouldn't let him go home. The sting wore off as we all hung out. 

Then there was the silence I had at home for about 45 minutes. Then, THEN, I broke. I had such peace about the procedure. Dad is in awesome shape and that would show in his recovery. I KNEW that. But remember, my mom hasn't been dead a year. 

Insert ugly cry. 

Thankfully, dad is doing great! I spent Monday and Tuesday with him. I'm eager for this to be completely in the past. You aren't supposed to want to fast forward life but some things just aren't worth watching in real time. 

I'm grateful I have friends that I can unload a paragraph of explicits and they love me anyway (afterall I do that for them when satan attacks their lives!). I am most grateful that God takes us right where we are. I can be a soft hearted girl and a Rambo all in one and He still beams "that's MY girl"! It's insane, unfathomable, and the exact reason God is so fantastically beautiful.