Romance

We were two young dumb kids. And from day one we fought.

Like. A.Lot.

(If you are just thinking it's only me and my ever running mouth let me stop you right there. My mom said she knew I would marry Chad Hoes because he was the first male to tell me no and I listened. That should tell you a little more about my other half. There are always two sides to a story and since I'm the one telling mine I get to defend myself!)

Recently I read a theory that Satan's tactic to destroy marriage doesn't begin until the couple have made covenant with God. My experience and observation shows a lot of truth behind that theory....

An area Jesus seems to be highlighting that Chad and I for sure fought about was romance and pursuit. I am crazy in love with my man! Let that sink in. Let that be the lenses you read this through. Because I'm going to be real about who I am. Who Chad is (he has approved this message!)

I know there are some romantic men out there, but I didn't marry one. Mine loves to cuddle and he is so kind, but romantic gestures don't naturally show up in his thought process. Or at least the romantic gestures I'd imagined... This didn't show up as a problem as we were dating and engaged, that's the fun part. All of the newness and planning a life together is thrilling! It rarely shows up in the baby stage of a relationship.

Years ago the Lord had begun stirring in my heart to look at romance a different way. During this time I spoke to my grandma about my grandad. She said he would forget Valentine's Day but bring her some wild flowers and her favorite tea on a random day. I remember thinking "Chad did(and does) that!"

Then the Lord pressed further. He had me survey the nations idea of a man. Chad is opposite. He provides. He sticks to his word. He keeps his eyes and heart pure. He respects me. He cherishes me. Sure it's in the daily stuff-like he pays the electric bill on time, fills up my car, and makes sure to empty the trash cans. But ladies-that is romance! (Go without a hot shower on a freezing day and THEN challenge me!)That means he was thinking of me, that he didn't want me to have to pump my gas in the cold.

So when the urge for me to pout and nag Chad about how he isn't romancing me, I reflect. I have the choice to shift my heart toward gratitude. To not overlook all the things he IS doing. I used to want to crush him in my hurt (and sadly sometimes even now I revert back to that young dumb kid) but now, I say "I could use some pursuit". I give him the chance in a kind way.

In a world where the prom requests make my wedding proposal look like a homeless request for change, the parties cost what our first rent payment was, and Pinterest oozing over everyone's social media highlight reel maybe we can take back romance.