Overcoming Emotion

After 2 years of not, we now have a computer in house. My goal is to jump back into blogging to keep track of our family fun, house projects, and whats happening in my head (scary as it may be). 

The Lord speaks to me in themes. He is generous and knows sometimes (okay most times) I need something highlighted with a GIANT GOD SIZED highlighter. He has been really speaking to me about how I have been giving permission to my emotions to dictate my mood, my day, my approach to things. The world sets us up to think that is exactly how we are supposed to do life. And while our feelings and emotions are a gift, they also lie. 

What doesn't lie is the word of God. 

Just this morning as I prayed through the parent book Chad and I go through, I felt so sad that my boys weren't formed in my body. That they have other peoples DNA making them up. I can be territorial and dang it I don't want to share! But as I opened the TRUTH I read in Isaiah 45 that He goes before me flattening mountains, making spacious places for me. 

There. Right there. That's the choice moment. Do I follow my emotions? Do I let the ache come in and change my entire days perspective? Or do I fall back into the arms of my unwavering God???

Yes, from this perspective and an hour later, I see it is an easy Sunday School answer: Jesus. But in the mix of the reality of that ache that seems permanent and is REAL, it isn't so easy... In that moment, I had to speak out loud and declare that I would chose to shift my heart into gratitude toward the spacious places he has brought me into.

Some days the relief comes automatic. Other days, I am fighting to keep the truth in its place of authority and reign. I am thankful for the highlighter the Lord decided to use and prune me in this area. It hurts.  It is hard.  But I already see the fruit of standing on a foundation that does not move.

2 I will go before you
    and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
    and cut through bars of iron.
³ I will give you hidden treasures,
    riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
    the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Isaiah 45:2&3 

¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;

    he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:19