Yes Girl

When the boys were little, the time of life when they wanted me to be with them constantly, I worked at saying "yes" anytime they asked for me to come play. I knew it was a short season. That one day I wouldn't be asked. I wasn't an imaginative kid, so my playing usually meant asking questions and sitting with them (okay, it also meant organizing or cleaning whatever was in reach).

I haven't done the mom thing close to perfect, but I did that pretty dang well. I step into their world. If I'm honest, this hasn't come from a pure motive. Its been driven a lot by fear. As an adult, I disconnected with my mom. Most of my intentionality with my kids has been driven to combat that happening as my boys become men.

Wrong motive or not, I long to be a YES girl. Many of you reading this already say yes(and maybe too much). I am on the other side of the pendulum and dole out a good "no" before the questions completely asked...

Not being a natural "yes" girl, I weigh my yes's. I wonder if Jesus contemplated his yes when the plan to live on earth and die in shame was conjured up? Father God asked his son to say yes to something KNOWING it would hurt him. KNOWING it would hurt himself.

God has asked me to say yes to some really hard junk. The hard yes' have been much easier when they didn't gurgle up and effect anyone else. But some of the giant "yes" have tangibly shifted my husband, my kids. That is when I have to wrestle with the Lord. My momma bear within shouts "hurt me, but please don't hurt them!"

2 Corinthians 3:18 says the goal is to be like him. How can I be like him and avoid the pain that a yes can lead to?

I can't. (Why do I keep thinking I can be more like him and yet avoid what he has been through!?!)

ugh. That is so annoying.

but also crazy good...

Yes requires so much unseen faith. Trusting he really will "work all things for the good" is hard when your mind-work-home feels like a battlefield. Believing his word that promises he will guard us under his wing sometimes just feels like empty words when the pain is suffocating.

but...

Sometimes his presence is so tangible in your yes you can't find words.

Sometimes his kindness is overwhelming you can't help believe.

And sometimes, if you are brave enough, searching for Him in the hard of a yes will uncover new layers of intimacy with our creator that leave you breathless.

Weigh the yes, sure. Guard your yes, thats healthy. But when He is clearly asking you, grab his hand and leap! Pain and all(and all and all), I've never regretted being his Yes Girl.