Most days I like to think I have most of it together. The days or moments I don't, I like to hold my breath and wait it out before posting. But today you get the raw ugly of it.
Somedays, like today, I feel lonely. I feel unpursued. I feel different {weird} than all the friends surrounding me. I don't know how to communicate this to people- or how I could, so I just don't.
Somedays, like today, I struggle to turn things over to the Lord. Like how my hip is getting worse and upsetting not just my post runs recovery. And how I worry that tomorrows DR appointment may mean never running again. I worry less about losing the money spent and more that it would strip so much of me.
Somedays, like today, my thoughts crash inside of my brain like a nasty hurricane. I eat out of rebellion from the pain and then feel extreme remorse and guilt from said eating.
Somedays, like today, I just don't have the fight in me. I long to be walking in my courage daily, but today I'm having to let Jesus carry me through this battle.
Somedays, like today, I am thankful we get a do over button with a promise of joy in the morning...
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